Saturday, May 28, 2011

Scrapping the important 'stuff'

"Life isn't a matter of milestones but of moments."
~ Rose F. Kennedy (1890-1995)

Not quite three years ago I received a walking frame to assist me with getting around after a fairly serious relapse.  I was not impressed.  Not quite three months ago I used that walking frame in public for the first time.  Have I mentioned I'm a stubborn wench??  Three years is a long time to give up living a 'normal' life because of fear, anxiety and shame.  A seemingly disproportionate, irrational or unreasonable response some might think.  But I'm not alone.  A couple of weeks ago I met some other women who have MS and who have also resisted using various walking aids in public for long periods of time.  My three years seemed trifling in comparison to some.  That day not quite three months ago, when I used my walking frame in public, I realised I didn't want to find myself in another three years perhaps in a wheelchair and regretting those wasted years when I could have been out and about enjoying life with the aid of my walking frame.  I imagined life would be so much more accessible with a walking frame than a wheelchair.  It was a pretty empowering moment for me.

A short time later GB, Max and I found ourselves at Max's favourite beach.  As had become the norm in a very short time, my walking frame was with us.  When GB and Max decided to go for a walk along the shore I was determined to not be left behind.  So, although my walking frame isn't exactly an all weather terrain 4WD model (LOL), I found where there is a will there is a way, and off I trundled in search of firm sand.  Eventually I found some.  Then, in fact, I found a lot.  By keeping to the firm sand and keeping an eye on where I was going, I was able to walk along the beach for what seemed like hours in the sunshine and light breeze with the two greatest loves of my life.  It was glorious.  It was a moment worth recording ...

fly ...
products used include:
K&Co Sea Glass designer paper and K&Co Citronella specialty paper; Core Impressions Jenni Bowlin Collection cardstock; Stampin' Up! Crumb Cake 12x12 cardstock; Li'l Davis Designs Pin-Striped Shipping Tags, Pink; Dymo labeller and black label; American Crafts Thickers Daiquiri, foam, pink; cream ribbon and lace; Making Memories staples; Stampin' Up! stamp sets - Playful Petals, Think Happy Thoughts, and For Everything; Stampin' Up! ink pads - Blushing Bride, Crumb Cake, and Baja Breeze

I used two types of journaling on this layout.  The first is the song lyrics to Gonna fly now from the movie Rocky.  These lyrics really say something about where I find myself today.  The other journaling is hidden and reads ...

We thought we were losing Max.  We wanted to stop time and steal one last, precious moment with him. We wanted to 'test' his spirit to see if it really was his time.  Where better to do that than his favourite place in the world, but the beach at Point Henry?  We learned two things that day ... Max wasn't ready to die, and I was ready to start living.

Although but a moment, in many respects that day felt like a milestone.  A turning point.  The wheels of my life slowly started to turn.  Like the wheels of my frame in the sand, there was resistance at first and I stumble now and then, but if I keep searching for the firm sand, keep my face turned towards the sun, and focus on my goal, I'm sure one day I will fly ...

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