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When my world is falling apart, I find myself unable to sit inactive staring into space or to curl up under my doonah and let the days merge into one.  Not because of any sense of fighting spirit but because its in the quiet the demons are at their loudest.  However as my world continues to darken, finding the motivation to do something, anything, is becoming increasingly difficult.  Thank god for scrapbooking as a form of occupational therapy.

Being physically unable to do many 'domestic' things, and those things I am still able to do, and do do, not needing to be done on a daily basis, rules out consuming my time with domestic goddess tasks.  Not being independently mobile sees me at home most of the time, so I can't pop out for a few hours to go down to the local shops or visit a friend.  Speaking of friends, I can't bring myself to have contact with them for fear of the bubbling turmoil of desperation in the pit of my stomach spewing forth.  I so desperately need to keep it contained.

As it is, Magoo now needs constant company.  Last Saturday his rear, right leg 'gave in' on him (so to speak) and he is now struggling with his walking.  When he falls down, he sometimes can't get up.  So he needs me here with him.  He's very sad too.  Which is heart-breaking, but I understand the need for the silent company of someone who loves you when you feel sad.  I understand he needs more cuddles than usual at the moment.  I'm willingly giving them to him.  We're also taking him to the vet later this morning to discuss this latest development in his health.  Deep in our hearts GB and I know what will be happening very soon but right now are holding on to the slimmest, desperate sliver of hope that our vet is able to do something to help, even though she told GB this past weekend on the phone that there is nothing more she can do.  We're not ready to let go of Magoo.  We acknowledge that we'll never be ready to say good bye.  But we know we need to do the right thing for him, so at today's appointment we'll be discussing quality of life issues.  He will be coming home with us though.   Today is not the day.

So whilst Magoo is asleep in his bed by my side in my studio, I am 'making' myself scrap.  It passes the time of day.  It occupies my time.  I may not be creating anything particularly spectacular and, in fact, are holding off from scrapping special photos because I really don't want to ruin them if you know what I mean.  But I can potter.  The 2011 Weekly Favourites Challenge at ScrapChat is a good form of pottering, as is one of the 'special projects' I was hoping to complete this month.

Speaking of the 2011 Weekly Favourites Challenge here are my weeks 10 and 11.  I hope they speak for themselves because, quite frankly, I've run out of words ...

Week 10 ... favourite scrapping supply

die-cutting equipment used: Big Shot Pro and Big Shot

dies used: Sizzix Big Shot Pro die - Heart, Ribbon; Sizzix Sizzlits border dies - Flowers, and Dots & Scallops; Sizzix Originals dies - Bird, Sparrow and Paper Sculpting, Daisy; Big Shot Thick Cuts alpha dies - GoSlim

Week 11 ... favourite country

Until next time ...